kim - here's my ww secret. book a boudoir shoot w/someone. pay for it. 3 months out... and you'll have a deadline. terrifying - totally works!Now, THAT would be a diet plan! Only, I'd rather be dangled butt-naked over a pit of angry rats, than get a boudoir session. Oh my gosh. Not sure it would have the same effect if I posed for my sexy shots in my Eddie Bauer sweatshirt and my oversized sweatpants. Not to mention the sexy house shoes I'd refuse to take off because of those ugly feet!
So, we chatted a bit. I told her I used to plan tropical, bikini wearing, vacations to get my gumption going. Didn't work for Aruba. Instead, I chose to sit in the retirement-aged section of the beach, instead of in the middle of the Spring-breakers. And, whooo-boy! Those cute old dudes thought I was the hottest thing going! Sigh.
I admitted to her and now to you, I think my issues are with God on this one. It all boils down to expectations and entitlement. There are so many expectations placed on women's shoulders, that I feel like I should be entitled to CATCH A BREAK. That break for me, would be to feel okay with my body.
We are expected to:
- Keep up a household (what's for dinner? did you deposit the check? did the drycleaning get picked up? this place is a wreck!)
- Raise decent, God-fearing, honest, productive children (cause we all know where the finger points if one of them pops up a serial killer!)
- Help with the bottom line (colleges, colleges, colleges...all coming soon)
- AND, stay fit and sexy (I cannot tell you how many times a guy has said something to me like, "He cheated, but his wife let herself go," or "He cheated on YOU? But, you are so pretty?" or just a few pounds and you'd be perfect!" - NONE of these, by the way, have been spoken by my dear, sweet, Dancin' Jimmy)
- Then, don't even get me started on that dang Proverbs 31 chick:
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Whew! I just want to strangle the crazy, overachieving, bee-yatch... Oops. Repent, Kim, repent! Oh dear, now I'm just waiting for my phone to ring. "Sorry mom."
Anyway. I just really feel like we have soooo much on us. Why do we all have to get fat so easy? And, then why do we care? I feel like every time I diet I am doing it for somebody else. Cause, let's be honest girls. Who of us would try to stay fit if there weren't a man involved? We all know we'd be sitting on the couch eating cookie dough with a spoon every night.
Okay. Lots of repenting to do now. Better go get on my knees and plead for forgiveness. While I'm there, I'm going to ask His help. I'm going to ask Him to help me make peace with my lot in life. I'm a woman. He will probably point out, that the good old Proverbs31 lady? She was pretty because of her character. "Beauty is fleeting." I wonder if she did all that other stuff, though, because she felt lacking in beauty? Don't WE all do that? Lots to talk about with the Man Upstairs. Love you all - and if it counts for anything today...I think you are beautiful. Every one of you.