About Me

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I'm a child of God, wife to Charlie, mom to three beautiful girls, daughter to Dennis and Susan, and friend to as many as I can meet. (In that order.) Welcome to my bloggaroni. :) Follow me on Twitter: thatsmykimjay / Go to my site: www.kimjay.com

Monday, June 28, 2010

Vacation parenting...

So, we are in Maui. I am actually blogging from under my beach umbrella right this minute.

So, please forgive any typos I might miss.

We have had a really good time so far. Except for missing my morning and evening Peanut-Mama time, yesterday was darn near the best day ever.

We all got up sooooo early yesterday. Because although it was 5:30 am here, our bodies were telling us it was 10:30 am. And, even I...cant sleep that late anymore. Then, Charlie made a full breakfast, my girls helped clean up after WITHOUT COMPLAINING, Internet! Charlie and Bradyn went on a diving/snorkeling adventure while me and Moey and my mother-in-law went to the spa. Massages for everyone! I told them the only way the day could get better was if Charlie took me out on a date.

The phone ring. It was Charlie, "Hey, what are y'all doing? Do you want to eat dinner in with my mom and then maybe you and I go down to Lahaina and hang out." Morgan replied, "Are you thinking you're talking to mom? Cause, I'd totally want to do that!" "Morgan? Ha! Yes, I thought I was talking to your mom." "Figures...here she is..."

So, yes. Yesterday rocked. And, today ain't too shabby either. Tonight, my ex-husband (thank you, Randy) has us set up with reservations at a sushi restaurant of a friend of theirs here. Sushi, people! Nom-nom-nom... I truly have no wants or needs in my life (except for the medical and spiritual well-being of some dear people in my life...and, maybe a new vacuum cleaner.)

So, I'm on the way to the beach this morning and as the elevator opens on the ground floor, there is Charlie...standing with a woman and her three daughters, "That's my wife!" he says. They are all laden down with groceries. I'm thinking, what the heck? Turns out, they were leaving, and I haven't gotten the full story yet, but they basically SUPREMELY OVER-BOUGHT at Costco and were giving it to us. We hit the mother-load, people. Complete with a boogie board...and a single, chocolate, delectable, frozen tasty treat.

Later, after I get all it put away and finally make it down to the beach. I relay the above story to the girls (including my mother-in-law) and they of course ask what all we got. Da-dum-dum!!!!!!!

I fidget. I try to change the subject. I tell them every single item in the friendly-condo-neighbors' inventory of grocery items donated to the Jay vacation fund....except the chocolate bar...which I KNOW is going to ruin the trip. I mean, I know these two daughters of mine. I squeezed them out personally.

Then, as if the Miss Susan Angel appeared before me, the answer was clear...a contest. Make the lucky consumer win the right to devour that heavenly morsel of frozen chocolate wonderfulness! But, what? What contest will adequately insure their delightfulness for the rest of the trip? The most helpful? The nicest to their sister? The neatest? The sweetest? The most patient?

Bam! I nailed it! The one who demonstrates most of the fruits of the spirit this week gets the prize! And, the conversation that followed leads me to believe I may know who may win.

"Bradyn doesn't even know the fruits of the spirit." Morgan grimaced.

"Yes, I do-ooo!" Bradyn replies in a sing-song voice, "Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control!" (I would like to take this moment to personally thank Miss Ari and Mr. Brian from Kidcity right now.)

So, all you parents out there my question for you is this...how many of you specifically reward godly behavior in your kids? I don't do it enough. But, I think we should. In this world of Why? Why? Why? I think we need to make sure that answer is in light of God's reasons and not our own.

We should be loving because He is loving. We should be patient because He is patient. No other earthly reason will truly make your child, or yourself for that matter, think about consequences and what the right thing to do is. If you are a faithful spouse, is it because you're afraid of getting caught? If you work hard at your job, is it for the promotion? Or for God's glory?

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
Colossians 3:16-18


Thursday, June 24, 2010

New blog on the way...

Well, I've been struggling with the content on my blog for quite some time.  Personal?  Photography? Both?  I get many emails, formspring questions, twitter, facebook, comments from blog readers, you wouldn't believe it...all asking me about my "story."   You know, the one where I went through a divorce, amicably, and met Prince Charlie, and am riding off into the sunset happily ever after...ha!

I love to tell the story.  LOVE IT!  But, not so much because I love bragging about how great my life is now, but how much I want everyone to know how great God is, and how He has brought me through it all.  I remember being in the midst of the valley of the shadow of death thinking, Please God, use this crappy time in my life in some way.  Don't let me be going through this HELLO! for nothing.

So, I've been thinking of ways I can share all this info in a more organized, accessible way - so that my sisters (and brothers) dealing with what I dealt with will have something to cling to.  I started writing an actual book.  Yes, crazy, like I have a lot of free time on my hands.  I need my head examined.  But, it is really just a cathartic time waster, I don't really expect to ever finish it.    But, if not a book, what?

Well, the answer is gonna be another blog.  But, I need your help.  I will be formulating the content, and working on the technical logistics for a few weeks.  What I need from you is help in getting the word out to anyone you know who is going through a divorce, has gone through a divorce, is a single parent, has dealt with the pain of living with an addict, etc.  Keep an eye on this blog for details coming soon.

The other thing I need from you guys is help with content.  Every time I try to start talking about my story, I get so side-tracked or overwhelmed with what to tell you, and what not to tell you, that I stall and break down completely.  Here's my answer to that...the blog will be in the form of "Ask Kim..."  So, I need questions.  Don't be shy!  Ask away.  If I can, I will answer them all as honestly as possible.

Finally, please know that this is not out of a feeling that I know it all.  I do not.  I am not a counselor.  I am not a trained professional.  I am a mom.  I am a wife.  I am an ex-wife.  I can only tell you what worked for me, what I feel God has told me is the right thing to do in each situation, and pray for you.

So, send in your questions to kim@kimjay.com.  In a few weeks, I will answer them one-by-one.  Pray for those who ask questions, and please pray for me as I try to answer them.



Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Taking a little break...

After days and days of editing day and night, I had to take a break.  My eyes were about to fall out of my head.  So, I gave Charlie a break (who had been so patiently working the Peanut shift in every one of his free minutes from work) and me and the Nut went "Side!"  It is so beautiful lately.  Just gorgeous.  So, me and my baby girl, and my OTHER baby (my Mark ii), went out"side!".  Just a glimpse of the good times...

In the hammock...

Monday, June 7, 2010

Anna had a great day, but...

Sigh.  As many of you have read on Facebook and Twitter, it has been touch-n-go here lately with the Nut and her tantrums.  Meaning, there have been days when I felt like running through a plate-glass window on the 100th floor.  Seriously.

I could write about this morning's car ride from my sister-in-law's house in East Memphis, all the way to the Wolfchase exit....SCREAMING bloody murder that whole time, or last Sunday at the Lakehouse (and the boat-neighbors who were innocent bystanders and witnesses to the horror that ensued), or the last Thursday note home from school which was accompanied by an impromptu teacher meeting in the hall...

In case you can't read that, it says, "Anna had a great day but she had to go to time out for getting mad and throwing her hairbow at Ms. Kate!" (Exclamation.  She used an exclamation!)  I love how it starts out, "Anna had a great day..."  I can't help but wonder if that could be translated as, "Anna had a great day, but the teachers, however..."  They said they had to HOLD her in time out.  Yeah, I believe them.

I am just about at my wit's end.  I am not even writing this as a funny, ha-ha, I'm a 40 year-old with a toddler, story.  I AM AT MY WITS END, people!  Tap, tap, tap...is this thing on?  And, girls (and guys), we're only a little over a month in...to this two-year-old deal.  And, frankly, I have no grand illusions of any kind of three-year-old magic wonderfulness.  No, God gave me The Nut.  Or as Charlie affectionately refers to her, Nutcase.

Venting on the phone the other day to my sweet friend, she offered this godly insight, "I wonder if God feels the same way about us when we are out of control."  Hmmmm.  You know, if we didn't have godly friends like Pam in our lives, how would we ever weed through all the wordly crap?  Yes.  Good point, Pamalama (as I affectionately refer to HER.)

I bet God is just here standing around us as we flail about, putting His big arms out and making sure we don't slam our heads against the proverbial hardwood floors.  I bet He is just like, "Ugh!  Kim!  Get a grip!  As soon as you calm down, I will be able to TELL you what will make you happy!"  But, no.  We want our craziness.  We want our pity parties, our fits, our tantrums.  It's fun.  People give us attention for it.  We get the focus.  So pathetic we are.  But, He loves us anyway.  Why?  Because He made us.  Because we are in His image - just like little Anna looks like me, I look like God.  We have found ourselves quite partial to these little beings we pushed out of our misshapen bodies.  And, the Lord is quite partial to us.

This morning, I went to change the Nut's diaper.  "Come on, Peanut, let's go get that stinky diaper off!"  "Okay, mama!"  We went to my bedroom and I put the changing mat down on my bed.  Anna is on my hip, and as I go to lay her down on the bed, she says, "No.  Mama, shhhh."  She put her thumb on my lips.  I didn't know WHAT she was doing.  She closed her eyes, puckered up her lips, held my face in her little hands - that currently smell like mustard after this...

and kissed me so sweetly.  Then, she put her face against mine, wrapped her hands around my neck and hugged me for what seemed like five minutes.  Kissed me again, and then let me lay her down to change her diaper.  I will remember this day for the rest of my life.  That was the sweetest, most affectionate show of love I have received...possibly ever.

Oh, Jesus.  I want to hold your face in my hands and kiss you and hug you like that!  I know one day, I will.  But, until then, what shall I ever do?  In some ways, when Anna loved on me this morning, it was as if Jesus had directly told her to.  Thank you, Anna.  Thank you, Jesus.  You sure know what a mom needs to get her through.  And, I promise, I will put on my big girl pants and tone down the tantrums.  

Thursday, June 3, 2010

New editions...

What an amazing family!  Our session was in honor of the newest member to the Andrus family - Jennifer!  What a great reason to update the family portraits.  This was the most enjoyable session!  And, every single one of them?  PHOTO - GENIC!  What a joy and honor to meet them.


Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Zoe, Zoe, ten days old...

Could hardly believe this beautiful sweet babe was only 10 days old!  How alert!  How happy to be awake!  Ha, ha!  She is an absolute doll and I was so happy to meet her!

Introducing, Zoe...