About Me

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I'm a child of God, wife to Charlie, mom to three beautiful girls, daughter to Dennis and Susan, and friend to as many as I can meet. (In that order.) Welcome to my bloggaroni. :) Follow me on Twitter: thatsmykimjay / Go to my site: www.kimjay.com

Friday, April 30, 2010

Getting all the one-year-old sugar I can today...

Tomorrow, the Peanut...she will be two.  This hurts my feelings.  Two years?  Seriously?  If you had told me two years ago how much I would love this little Nut, I never could have completely believed you.  She completes the circle of love in our home.  And, she more than holds up to her fair share of craziness here as well!

I found this video taken by Bradyn on the day of her birth, two years ago tomorrow.  Enjoy...

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


Just absolutely LOVE this sweet little baby girl.  I could just kiss those sweet cheeks all day!  Elly is a blessing for her parents, good friends of ours who are waiting patiently for little Elly's finalization into the wonderful godly home God has blessed her with.  Enjoy little Elly...

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Just another whiny blogpost about my body image...

Announced yet again today in Twitterville, that today is Day One on Weight-Watchers. A brilliant photographer friend of mine (whom I will not name - because it was a private, DM message in Twitter) offered this suggestion:
kim - here's my ww secret. book a boudoir shoot w/someone. pay for it. 3 months out... and you'll have a deadline. terrifying - totally works!
Now, THAT would be a diet plan! Only, I'd rather be dangled butt-naked over a pit of angry rats, than get a boudoir session. Oh my gosh. Not sure it would have the same effect if I posed for my sexy shots in my Eddie Bauer sweatshirt and my oversized sweatpants. Not to mention the sexy house shoes I'd refuse to take off because of those ugly feet!

So, we chatted a bit. I told her I used to plan tropical, bikini wearing, vacations to get my gumption going. Didn't work for Aruba. Instead, I chose to sit in the retirement-aged section of the beach, instead of in the middle of the Spring-breakers. And, whooo-boy! Those cute old dudes thought I was the hottest thing going! Sigh.

I admitted to her and now to you, I think my issues are with God on this one. It all boils down to expectations and entitlement. There are so many expectations placed on women's shoulders, that I feel like I should be entitled to CATCH A BREAK. That break for me, would be to feel okay with my body.

We are expected to:

  • Keep up a household (what's for dinner? did you deposit the check? did the drycleaning get picked up? this place is a wreck!)
  • Raise decent, God-fearing, honest, productive children (cause we all know where the finger points if one of them pops up a serial killer!)
  • Help with the bottom line (colleges, colleges, colleges...all coming soon)
  • AND, stay fit and sexy (I cannot tell you how many times a guy has said something to me like, "He cheated, but his wife let herself go," or "He cheated on YOU? But, you are so pretty?" or just a few pounds and you'd be perfect!" - NONE of these, by the way, have been spoken by my dear, sweet, Dancin' Jimmy)
  • Then, don't even get me started on that dang Proverbs 31 chick:
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.

16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Whew! I just want to strangle the crazy, overachieving, bee-yatch... Oops. Repent, Kim, repent! Oh dear, now I'm just waiting for my phone to ring. "Sorry mom."

Anyway. I just really feel like we have soooo much on us. Why do we all have to get fat so easy? And, then why do we care? I feel like every time I diet I am doing it for somebody else. Cause, let's be honest girls. Who of us would try to stay fit if there weren't a man involved? We all know we'd be sitting on the couch eating cookie dough with a spoon every night.

Okay. Lots of repenting to do now. Better go get on my knees and plead for forgiveness. While I'm there, I'm going to ask His help. I'm going to ask Him to help me make peace with my lot in life. I'm a woman. He will probably point out, that the good old Proverbs31 lady? She was pretty because of her character. "Beauty is fleeting." I wonder if she did all that other stuff, though, because she felt lacking in beauty? Don't WE all do that? Lots to talk about with the Man Upstairs. Love you all - and if it counts for anything today...I think you are beautiful. Every one of you.


Friday, April 9, 2010

Mourning the loss of the child...

A few weeks ago, my daughter and I took the long-awaited trip to New York City for her Sweet Sixteenth Birthday.  We have been planning this for years and years and years.  She even turned down a Christmas jaunt up to the big ol' apple with her dad one year because she wanted to wait until our trip!  

My little girl.  My little girl has grown into a young woman.  The whole time, I was literally choking back tears.  I just kept remembering the sweet little girl who was always smiling, always singing, always figuring things out - out loud.  So smart.  So beautiful.  The way she would snuggle up to my neck and say she was just like "Simba" from her favorite movie, The Lion King.  The way she would crawl into bed with me and snuggle up to my face.  If I rolled over, she would methodically gather her blanket, her doll, and her "plug", climb over me, and position herself nose-to-nose with me again.  I remember her wonderful smell - wanting to breathe her in completely.  She was my little buddy.  Her, and her 10 imaginary friends.  Together, we did everything!

Yes, this past month, I have been mourning the loss of the child.  While I am so amazed and proud and excited to see my Sweet Little Moey-Pamoey growing into a wonderful young woman, I am also mourning the little girl who once said, "You could NEVER embarrass ME, mom!"  The little girl with whom I played American Girl, endlessly.  The little girl who snuggled on the couch and watched Little Bear with me.  I realized, that the little girl is gone.  

I used to always kind of roll my eyes and smirk to myself every time one of my parents heard that song from Fiddler on the Roof:

Is this the little girl I carried?
Is this the little boy at play?
I don't remember growing older
When did they?
When did she get to be a beauty?
When did he grow to be so tall?
Wasn't it yesterday
When they were small?
Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze
Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears

Why on earth must they continue to cry every time they hear this song, I would wonder.  I wonder no more.  I'm wiping the tears right now.

But, the new young woman in my life now is more than wonderful enough to make up for the loss of the child.  She is brilliant...way smarter than her parents.  And, godly.  I receive text messages every day with a scripture verse from her.  No, she's not perfect, ha!  Who is?  I know I certainly owe my mom an apology, or two, or four hundred, for the way I behaved at that age.  But, she is still my Moey-Pamoey.  And, I'm so proud of her.  And, I'm looking forward to the fun to come.

Happy Birthday, Moey - er, Morgan.  I love you!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Sweet, sweet, SWEET!

Despite the fact that I continually made these sweet baby girls CRY:

These sweet sisters were just precious!  Enjoy...

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

One of my besties and her beautiful baby...

Angela is one of my bestest girlfriends in the whole wide world...and she's kind of my cousin.  Sort of.  We're never really sure the exact relation - but we just tell everyone we're cousins anyway.  :)  I'll claim her!  Here are pics of her and her beautiful daughter, Pamela.  I have to also add...they look more like SISTERS!  Angela, I officially hate you.  J/K

Sunday, April 4, 2010


She came up behind me, hugged my legs and said, "Eeee-yoouuuuu!"  My heart melted.  My eyes welled up with tears.  I picked her up and swung her around and said, "I LOVE YOU, TOO!"  Kissing her all over her sweet little face. Yes.  This is why we have children.  This is worth the temper-tantrums.  This is worth the sleep-less nights and the nasty diapers and the embarrassment when they publicly announce their impending bodily function of the moment.  I love you.  It is all we need.  No, strike that.  We don't need it.  We want it.  Having someone tell us they love us is not in the food-clothing-shelter department.  But, we do want it so badly that it feels like a need at times.  

Today...today it struck me that it is this very reason that any of us are even here.  God wants us.  He doesn't need us.  What good are we to Him?  We're like little peons down here dorking up the place.  He created us solely for His pleasure...the pleasure of being loved.  And, He knew that it had to be our choice for it to be real.  

For months we have been teaching Anna  all kinds of words, phrases, and concepts.  We've taught her the proper responses:

"What do you say?"

"Here ya go...what do you say?"
 "Tank- ewww!"

"I love you!"

But, when she came to me, when she told me first, "Eeee-yoouuuuu!" she was telling me it was real.  I didn't make her.  She wasn't offered a treat for doing so, although I'm sure she knew her love for me would be returned.  

God created us to love Him, but loved us so much, that He wanted our love to be born out of free choice.  Thus, the opportunity for rejection.  Thus, the opportunity for messing up.  Thus, sin.  And because we are human, because we are not holy, we do in fact, sin.  We screw up.  And, we screw up bad.  So bad, that our badness can't even be near His goodness.  It just can't happen.  His wonderfulness cannot even be grasped by us fully.  Never will.  I think, even when we get to Heaven, we still won't even know the half of it.  Imagine the warmest, fullest, your heart has ever been - magnify that times a million and we still have no idea "How great is the love the Father has lavished on US!" (1 John 3:1)

So, He gave us free will and we failed...we failed majorly.  But, He still loves us soooo much.  In the Old Testament, He gave us atonement through sacrifice.  We kind of got the hang of it, all those rules and crazy laws that maybe, just maybe would clean us off good enough to be in His presence one day.  But, our hearts lost sight of the One who wanted us.  So, He made the ultimate sacrifice so that ALL of us may come.  Whosoever will.  


I love Jesus with all of my heart.  I know Him.  I have seen His works.  I have experienced His amazing forgiveness.  I have lived on His love.  He is it.  The ONLY way.  Yes.  I know to some, that makes me narrow-minded.  That's because the Way is narrow (Luke 13):

 22Then Jesus went through the towns and villages, teaching as he made his way to Jerusalem. 23Someone asked him, "Lord, are only a few people going to be saved?"   He said to them, 24"Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. 25Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, 'Sir, open the door for us.'
      "But he will answer, 'I don't know you or where you come from.'

 26"Then you will say, 'We ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.'
 27"But he will reply, 'I don't know you or where you come from. Away from me, all you evildoers!'
 28"There will be weeping there, and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, but you yourselves thrown out. 29People will come from east and west and north and south, and will take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God. 30Indeed there are those who are last who will be first, and first who will be last."

You do not have to buy into this love.  You don't have to take it.  Because, you see, God loves you so much - that He is not going to make you love Him.  He wants you to want Him.  And, trust me, He is worth it.  Jesus came to earth, gave us the plan, and then executed it...endured the savage wrath of satan's desire to thwart that plan.  He was sacrificed for us, just like the lambs and goats and doves and other animals of the Old Testament...only He is the Son...of...God!  Hallelujah!  The perfect sacrifice that was more than enough to take care of the entire debt of the entire human race.  We only have to believe, accept, and love Him back.  

He conquered death!  He was killed.  Mutilated.  Beaten.  And, buried.  And, while the world celebrated Passover, He paid the price for our sins.  Yours.  Yes.  You know that thing in your heart you just can't get over?  It's done.  It's gone.  Give it to Him.  Because on the third day?  He rose!  He got up from that evil death and rose from that grave and ran to us!  And, He is there waiting for us to run to Him everyday.  To take that thing in your heart and clean you off and make you completely new again.  As if it never happened.  He will make you whole.  God is the Only One who can.  He loves you.  Once you know Him, once you accept Him and become a believer...you will truly understand how His love is not like any of our relationships here on earth.  His love is perfect.

I love you very much.  I love you so much, that I wanted to tell you these things.  I want you to know the amazing love that I know.  And, if you want to know more, ask me.  I am always ready to tell anyone where my hope and joy come from...

Jesus.  And, HE IS RISEN!  Happy Easter!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

I'm pregnant!!!

April Fool's!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every year for several years, I would call my brother Jared and tell him the wonderful news!  Every year on the same day.  Every year.  And, every year, he bought it hook-line-and-sinker.  (Despite the well-known fact that my then husband had undergone a vasectomy.)  Took him hours to get that lure out of his lip!  "April Fool's, Jared!"  He would be all mad, and he would be all I'm-going-to-get-you-back, and he never would.  Because, well, I'm the best.  The best!  Oh, how I enjoyed it!  LOVE me some April Fool's Day!   

me and my brothers - Matt (L) and Jared (R)

Today, being completely over the same ol' "I'm pregnant!" schtick, I was driving along the Germantown Audobon scratching my head and trying to think of how to get Charlie.  After I realized it was my hat making my head itch, I got it!  I knew what I was going to do!

"Charlie!  I think I need to go to the emergency room." (me - in a faint-scratchy voice)
"What?  Why?  Are you okay?"
"I swallowed my lower braces and they're stuck in my throat.  It's really starting to hurt."
"Oh my gosh!  Then, go!        GO!!!"
"April Fool's!"

He finally started laughing, and letting me enjoy the joke.  But, he just had to add the fact that part of the joke was on me.  That, I am about the only person dumb enough to actually swallow their braces!  And, you know what?

I've give him that.  :)

Happy April Fool's Day!