Sigh. So much in my brain right now. Let's see if I can pull off this blog without an inordinate amount of rambling. Tell me if you begin to squirm. :)
Just got home from the very first session of our women's Bible study at church. My Sweet Little Brady Lady is going to do the study with me! I absolutely cannot tell you how happy I am that she is. I just about have the absolutely most wonderful daughters on the planet. I asked Morgan to, but she just finished this same study in her small group and didn't want to do it again. Plus, she is cranked at school. But, Bradyn accepted my offer - and I think - no, I KNOW it is God-ordained.
We are doing the Beth Moore study, Esther, It's Tough Being a Woman. (How appropriate is THAT in MY stage of life!?!?!?!?!?) We sat there together, listening to the introductory video, laughing at Beth Moore. I was so proud of my little girl, filling in all the blanks - the youngest member of our Bible study group. I scribbled in the cover of the workbook, "Let's do our study everyday - and talk about each day's homework before bed. Wanna?" To which she scribbled, "Sure!"
Now, don't go thinking that is a normal thing. That, from birth I've had these kids on their knees and at the kitchen table doing their Bible lessons every day. Not even close. Even in the times of my life that I actually stuck with a priority time each day, it was while they were at school - not when they were home to see that mom spends time in the Word. I wish I had been a better example of a godly woman who teaches her girls to crave the Word of God. But, now we will begin again.
So, to the main point of this blog. Something Beth Moore said in the video last night, "It's tough being a woman, but I am so glad that I am!" To which, what seemed like a katrillion Houstonite women in attendance, followed with enormous applause. Me, my eyes welled up with tears and I frantically wiped them dry before anybody (especially Bradyn) could see. Why? I just didn't get it. What is so good about being a woman for goodness sakes!?!?!? I was so downtrodden (how do you like that Bible word?) with the guilt and envy I feel because I'm not just overflowing with happiness about being a woman.
I'm so worn down with all the inequalities between men and women. I'm not talking about fair pay, fair treatment, etc... I'm talking about the day-to-day normal stuff. I've even blogged about it all before. The shaving, the "chocolate time of the month", the responsibilities, the hormones...all of it. I drove home, listening to my precious daughter talking about how God had prepared her ahead of time for this lesson - because they are studying King Xerxes and the Persian Empire at school (public schools are okay by me!) Then, dang it....it occurred to me...this is not a conversation she might have with her dad. I'm special. We get to share girl stuff.
So, today, I'm going to make a list for ME. A list of the cool things about being a woman. So, that I will maybe understand those crazy women clapping for Beth Moore:
- Women get to cry for no reason. And, it usually works things out for them.
- Women get to talk to each other - about more than work or sports.
- Women get to be moms, which includes: REAL baby's breath on your face in the morning, endless cuddling, fixing your daughters' hair for the prom, playing dolls, being favored over anyone else on the planet for at least two years.
- Women don't get hairy ears.
- Women don't have to look any direction and cough at the same time.
- Women get to smell their husband's necks when they hug.
- Women get to hold their Daddy's hand even when they are 39.
- This is a new one for me - women are protected by their husbands. (Charlie won't let me go to prison this weekend because he doesn't want me to be the only woman these guys have seen in months. I adore him for that.)
- Women can hold her baby in the middle of the night, and everything is suddenly okay for them, no matter how old they are.
- Women are beautiful!
But, make no mistake, no matter if this works or not...no matter if I become the biggest fan of womanhood in the world...my hair will never be as big as that sweet Beth Moore! J/K Seriously, every time we start a Bible study like this, we always seem to begin with the question, "What do I want to get out of this?" My answer? I want God to change my heart and give me a passionate love for being what He created me as: a woman.
Big, fat, wet, sloppy kiss to all my girlfriends! We rock!