He ain't heavy, he's my brother!

These two sisters were gorgeous last summer when I first had a chance to work with them.  The PERFECT little models, always "on spot" every time.  So, SO, sweet!  And, now, little brother is right in the mix and is keeping up with big sisters' cuteness!  Enjoy Olivia, Ella Grace, and Weston...

I wanted that pot...

September, 2003.  My grandmother died.  Ruth Thompson Rhodes Burt Jerkins.  Grandmama - Granna - Mama - Ruth.

I really, really miss her on two occasions...Easter, and when I make her pot-roast.  Last week, I pulled out her old crock-pot (circa 1967) and the recipe she gave me over the phone when I was first married back in 1991.  Combine that with the warm weather - that makes me want to plant stuff (like Grandmama) - and, you get, me - all vehclemnt.


I remember the day the family all met at Papa Tang and Grandmama's house on Crafton to clean it out and get it ready to sell.  So incredibly sad.  It really was nearly as bad as losing them.  That tiny little house (probably 1,100 sq. feet) held at the very least, 8-10 adults, and 12 grandchildren who were all very young - every holiday for dinner.  We were crammed in there like Miss Piggy's feet in stilettos.  But, it was the best.  We always looked forward to Christmas Eve night, Easter Sunday after church, and Thanksgiving at noon (or 1:00 if you're a Barcafer.)  :)


This day, we looked over letters, magazines, furniture, magazines, knick-knacks, magazines, costume jewelry, magazines, clothes, etc...  None of us wanted to be presumptuous enough to ask for anything.  She raised her girls right!  All very (at least that I know of) conscientious of their sisters' feelings.  But, when I was asked what I might want, I knew what it was I wanted...

I wanted that pot!  That crock-pot was the HOLY GRAIL OF CROCK-POTS.  I'm not even messing around here.  Listen to me people, you cannot know the joy that comes out of this wonderful ceramic, electrified, pot!  Pork roasts, pot-roasts, to kill people over.  Seriously, I think it came to that one time.  Really.  You don't believe me?  Well, okay, maybe not.  But, man.


One day while I was in college, I called Grandmama and Papa Tang to check in...

"Hello, Papa!  Whatcha doin'?"

"Pressin'"

"You're pressing?"

"Pressin' my butt-cheeks to this chair!"

"Oh, Papa!"

"Oh, Papa!"  (he raised his voice and mimicked me)

"What's Grandmama doing?"

"She's about to put a pot-roast on the table."

"I'll be there in 15 minutes - wait for me!"

(Chuckle) "We'll do - Lil' Sug."

I remember that day like it was yesterday, and oh how I wish it were yesterday.  I miss them so incredibly much.  So, so, much.  They were the warmest, friendliest,  most nonjudgemental, God-loving people on the planet.  And, they loved me.  Boy, did they love me!  They called me "Lil' Sug" for goodness sakes!  At all times.  The only time I heard either of them refer to me by my real name was when Papa Tang would sing "Kimberley" to the tune of "Tenderly."  Or, when he would say, "Kimberley...Denise...ROTTEN!"

That day, as we sat there, me completely devouring ever drip of gravy, every tender, juicy bite of roast, the carrots that were so good they were like dessert (man...Pavlov's dog going on here), I told Grandmama...

"Grandmama, if I'm ever on death row, and they ask me what I want as my last meal, I'm going to tell them - MY grandmother's pot-roast!"

Without batting an eye, not even asking WHY I was on death-row, she paused and said, "I'd make it for you........and, I'd take my time!"

Then, she winked at me.  

I love my Grandmama and Papa Tang.  My heart hurts right now, that Peanut will never know them on earth. And, Charlie.  Boy, would she have LOVED Charlie!  I physically yearn for them.  In fact, I got one of his flannel shirts that day, and I may just wear it to bed tonight.  I didn't want to be presumptuous, but...


Yeah...I got that POT!!!

It's raining men...

This little man was no little boy - at least he doesn't think so!  We couldn't mention the word "cute".  Everything had to be "cool"!  And, rain didn't keep us from having fun in downtown Memphis.  It stayed away - thank goodness!  What a good time we had with this little, ahem, BIG boy!  Enjoy...

If God gave ME a little boy...

I'm sure he would look something like this...he is precious!

She ain't heavy, she's my sister...

B-E-A-YOU-tiful girls!  I got to meet Nat and Whit last Monday and what a great time we had!  They were both so incredibly beautiful and photogenic, I could have just shot them all night!  Thank you mom, for sharing your daughters with me!  Enjoy...

I want to sit at the big table...

Remember when you were little, at Christmas, when it was time to eat that amazing meal you looked forward to all year long?  Ham, potato salad, green beans, baked beans, deviled eggs (or stuffed eggs if you're in my family - we don't like giving the devil credit for things that good!), rolls....   Man, I'm going to go have to go get a snack after just writing this!  Remember how all the adults got to sit at the "big table" while all the grandkids were stuck in the den on a rackety old card table?  On lawn chairs (that didn't sit high enough to even see your food), with a harsh warning NOT to get any on the carpet?

I remember it.  I remember the first year I was married.  I thought that surely enduring all those nuptials would earn me a spot.  And, graciously, my good ol' Aunt Dixie and Uncle Glenn gave up their spots, just to make me feel all special.  What an accomplishment.  What grown-up-ness!  I was at the big table!  Today it was clear that Anna appreciates this feeling as well.  I caught her at the dinner table, having moved all of her accouterments from her high chair right to her Daddy's spot.  So proud.  She's growing up.

Makes me wonder.  At God's dinner table, where would He have me sit?  I mean, I know I'm not exactly a baby Christian, but am I there yet?  Would I be invited to sit with Him at the "big table"?  The mere fact that I have no idea right now in my heart is suggesting maybe, I need to grow up a bit more.  Or, I guess if I thought I was a shoe-in for adult Heavenly dining - wouldn't that suggest that maybe I didn't get it?  What would happen if I just tried to sneak in?  What would God say when I got caught?  Would He be as affected by my cuteness as I was of Anna's - and just let it slide?

 I don't know.  

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me."  

                                                                                                        (1 Corinthians 13:11)

Kinda makes me think I'd get booted.  This Spring...I want to GROW!

Peace.

kj

Precious little angel #3...

How on earth we were lucky enough to be 3-for-3 on precious baby girls, I'll never know.  But, we sure racked-up with our three daughters.  And, our Little Peanut, although quite a mess at times, can be so incredibly sweet.  Aren't we all that way?  (I wonder if God says that about us to His angels, "That Kim Jay, she's a MESS!  But, ain't she sweet?")

Yesterday, I was blessed with a willing participant.  I think she is starting to get old enough to figure out what I do.  Having "helped" me with a couple of baby-photosessions recently, I think she was wanting to play photoshoot with mommy!

Anna Katelyn Jay...

Full circle...

Before we went on vacation last week, I had the privilege (again) to photograph a sweet, SWEET, baby boy named Rocco.  I met Rocco's big brother, Luca, last summer, as well as his mama, Kim (who was pregnant with little Rocco), and his grandmother, Sue.  Such a wonderful family.  And, boy can they make some beautiful children!  Sue and I have already decided to draw up papers for an arranged marriage between Luca and Anna.  I'll have me a bunch of sweet little blonde-haired, blue-eyed babies.

This past session with Rocco, was a JOY.  He couldn't have been any more perfect or in a better mood.  The little boy made my ovaries twinge.  I told Charlie as Sue was leaving with her grandson, "I want a BOY, Charlie!"  (Of course, we have taken care of things for just such moments of insanity.  So, no boys for me.)  We stood and chatted a little as Sue was leaving about how she knew my parents from long ago in the days of Leawood Baptist Church.  My grandmother is still a member.

Sue brought me this amazing picture, look how gorgeous!  My dad took it sometime in the 1960s.  The neatest thing, on the back, was his rubber stamped name.  The address was my grandparents' as well as that phone number I will never forget.  I used to call it up and hear, "This is Hillie, who is this?"  My granddaddy was a riot...remember no caller ID back then!

I get a lot of people who ask me how I got into photography.  My answer is that my dad was a photographer in college, and worked for one of the best photographers in Memphis.  That he taught me early how to calculate equivalent values and what shutter speed to use.  And, he certainly, above all else - taught me to cherish this amazing tool we have to freeze time.  Our lives are so wonderful, we don't want to miss or forget a thing.  The camera has always been a part of our family.  Part of life.  We just learned to smile and not fight it.  Well, except for maybe when he brought a camera to FRED'S DOLLAR STORE to document my very first job.  Oh, the horrors to a 16 year old!  (But, honestly, I'm already planning my stealth photography mission - as soon as Morgan gets her first gig!)

How neat it is, that I am now photographing Sue's grandchildren.  Daddy, we have come full circle.  Enjoy, little Rocco...

Anna helps her Mama...

My mom has a Vacation Bible School booklet framed, open to a story entitled, "Kim helps her Mama." It is still prominently displayed in her kitchen, here 35 years later. I loved helping when I was little. I loved tagging along with my dad at work. I prided myself on knowing just when he would need a phillips-head screwdriver, and when he would need a flat-head. I used to love cleaning the house for my mom, to surprise her when she came home from work. I actually remember the joy of seeing her face as she came in the door. I am a freak of nature. I know this.

Of all of the three of my girls, I think Anna may have this trait of mine. Now, mind you, this highly motivated, helpful spirit is, in our case, also accompanied by an overpowering need to do everything "MY SELF!" So, it's not always a cakewalk living with us. Anna LOVES to help. She loves to help unload the dishwasher, she loves to help pull the laundry out, and one day...I actually watched her from another room, pick up my plate off the couch and take it to the kitchen, unaware that I was watching. Ahhh....the pride.

HOWEVER, sometimes, it is hard to work when she is around. Take yesterday for example...I THOUGHT I could get away with doing a session at home with Anna here. Nope. She was all over helping me with that baby! At one point, I had arranged a table exactly how I wanted it with blankets and backdrop ready. I turned around to help mom get her dressed, turned around to put the baby on my set. Anna had obviously decided my set needed a little extra something and had piled on two more blankets!

Here are some outtakes from yesterday's adventure! Enjoy...

She thought the blue blanket would look good with her eyes.

Peek-a-boo!

Gotta make sure it is straight.

Patting her back when she sneezed.

A little too close to the action.

"Ahhh, da bay-bee!!!!"

Kim Jay Everyday Photography
www.kimjay.com

If it weren't 800+ miles....

Thursday, February 16^th, 2006

Alone in my upstairs “apartment” that mom and dad so graciously gave up for the girls and me.  I made it through my first Valentine’s Day as a single woman (first in 14 years of marriage) without too much drama.  But, I worked, I had to go downtown to appear in court for a speeding ticket, I hung out with the girls, I kept busy. Here it was two days later, off work for the day, alone in my parents’ house, girls at school…bored.  The reality of my first Valentine’s Day alone – hit.

My divorce had been final for a month and twelve days.  Single. I wanted to talk to someone.  I wanted a fresh, interested ear.

I Googled.

My little laptop had been my new best friend.  Way before Facebook was on my radar.  It had been the portal to the world that helped me escape, helped me find a good job, helped me cope.  This day, that little laptop became an instrument of divine intervention for me.  I wanted to talk to someone, but I wasn’t gonna be caught dead in one of those icky chat rooms!  I Googled “Christian chat.” 

What I got:  www.christianmingle.com

A Christian dating site.  Well, alrighty then.  I wasn’t about to go online and meet a man that way.  I mean, that had been the catalyst for the destruction of my marriage.  Heck if that was going to be how I met someone!  But, as I read through the info, it presented itself as a social media outlet, as well as a dating site.  On the home page, a special.  Free seven-day trial membership for women.  What did I have to lose?

I filled out the forms, uploaded a pic, took the personality quiz.  What else did I have to do?  Where else did I have to be?  I was online for only a few minutes, drilling down through menus, looking through the cast of “Christian” characters who were available in the Memphis Area.  Frankly, a very narrow search.  Most of them looked like serial killers, or just really lonely divorcees.  And, somewhere around 10 minutes in…an email.

Subject:  If it weren’t 800+ miles….

An email from Charlie.  My first and last contact with a man on Christian Mingle.  I read through his email, chuckling at his comments about my profile (I mentioned something about “soaking it up in a hot-tub with my soul-mate” – a Napoleon Dynamite reference), and also heartened that what I found important, was what led him to email me.  I put it very plainly in my profile…that I had two daughters, and that “if you were lucky, and if we happen to be dating for more than six months, you MIGHT get to meet them.”  I had watched too many times, children in this situation, having been introduced to a parade of “dates” go in and out of their lives.  I was not about to do that to my sweet little Moey and Brady-Lady.

This impressed him.  He began his email with, “Just an innocent hello from a guy too far away.”  I couldn’t click on his profile button fast enough.  So afraid of what I would find, so afraid he would be 60 years old with an overgrown mustache.  But, whoa.  That is SO not what I found.  My heart went into immediate tachycardia.  Thought it would beat out of my chest.  Why is this dude emailing ME?  Something MUST be wrong with him.

Three days later, after HOURS of instant messaging, I finally gave in and gave him my cell phone number.  I thought I had lost my mind.  Boy, I thought, I sure hope this guy isn’t a serial killer.  We were snowed in that weekend, my girls were with their dad, my grandmother was staying with my parents, and Charlie and I talked on the phone the WHOLE day that Saturday….like, seriously, TEN HOURS. 

Afraid of what my parents and grandmother might think, I lied.  I lied and told them I met him at the bank.  That he was out of town and was a customer.  I had to tell them something.  They could tell something was up.  I prepared myself for the “be careful, Kim” or the “isn’t it kinda soon?” or the “Virginia?!?!?!”  Instead?  Instead, I slowly opened my laptop up, said a prayer under my breath, and shared with my mom and grandmother his picture and profile. 

Silence.  Then, my mother, “Virginia is a beautiful state.” 

It sounds absolutely crazy.  And, looking back, it was.  But, I actually had the nerve to tell my mom THAT day (three days after meeting him!), “I know you’re going to think I’m nuts, but, I have a feeling way down in my gut…I’m going to marry this guy.  And, I don’t know a THING about him!”  Instead of smacking me back into reality, she just replied, “Wow, Kim.  That’s huge.” 

I cannot tell you what it was.  I really can’t.  I was incredibly attracted to his picture, but who knew what he looked like in person?  When would I ever meet him in person?  How would this work?  What the heck?  God’s divine grace, His divine wisdom, His divine guidance.  That’s how.  There is no other way to explain how Charlie and I came to know each other – except for the fact that God is in control.  If you ever doubted it, call me.  How would I have ever met him otherwise?  Six months before we met, neither of us would have even looked at the other.  God’s timing, God’s wisdom, God’s love….became our love.

Happy Two-Days-After-Valentine’s Day, Charlie.  You are my world.  You are my love.  You are my best friend.  Thank you for loving me.  Thank you for loving my girls.  Thank you for Peanut.  Thank you for sharing your seriously strong dance moves with us.  Thank you for listening to God, and sweeping me off my feet.  Riding into the sunset with you for the past four years has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.