See what a good mom I am?

I couldn't sleep last night.  No idea why, but for the past week, it has been hard for me to get to sleep.  I think I finally gave up Words With Friends and Twitter and Facebook around 12:30, and finally gave up the ghost.  Prior to that, I laid in the dark, with my iphone brightness set way-low, so as not to wake the dude in bed with me.  That, my friends, is called ADDICTION.

2:30.  Screams from the baby monitor.  Here it is, I thought.

I knew the first night of "big girl bed" festivities went too smoothly.  And, I also knew how many people I bragged to about my sweet little Anna.  I don't believe in Karma, but last night it bit me in the BUTT!

For those of you who didn't get to hear about how great my daughter is, what a good mom I am because of it....we took the rail off of Peanut's bed Monday night.  And, it went off without a hitch.  She slept all night, and got up and played in her room for 45 minutes before I had to drag my lazy booty out of bed yesterday morning.  See what a good mom I am?

But, last night, God said, "Oh, yeah?  Little Miss Kim is getting too big for her breeches!"

I heard that little voice over the baby monitor calling to me amidst the tears.  Jumped out of bed (how I wish I could do that everyday - just jump out of bed) and walked not-slowly down to Peanut's room.  When I opened the door, I found her standing by her dresser bawling her eyes out.  I wasn't sure whether she had fallen out of bed, or had a night terror.  We haven't had a night terror in quite sometime.  But, you never know.

"There, there, sweet girl.  Did you fall out of bed?"

"Yes, I fall.  I fall.  Mommy, mommy.  I fall."

Poor thing.  But, something didn't add up.  She was really crying.  And, I had taken measures to make sure she didn't hurt herself too badly if she did fall.  See what a good mom I am?

I decided not to put one of those training rails up, hoping that maybe if she fell off a couple of times onto the mat without getting hurt, it would help train her not to sleep on the edge.  That makes sense, right?  Right?  Come on people, I've done this before, you know!

So, I consoled her, even let her lay in bed with us for a little bit.  Put her back to bed, which involved letting her cry a little, which totally broke my heart.  "Mommy!  Mommy!" Then, finally, quiet.  I went back to sleep.

I don't even remember what time it was when she woke up again.  Frankly, I don't remember much about that incident, except I know I got up.  I think I went in and covered her up (she was in bed) and turned her music on for her - at her request.  At least, that's what I think.

So, this morning, this is who woke up and played in her room happily...

Notice anything?  

Yep.  Bruises all over her face and neck.  Oh man.  See what a good mom I am?  Oh man.

I have spent the good portion of this morning trying to recreate the scene last night, using all of the skills I have learned on 48 Hours and Forensic Files, in hopes to figure out HOW THE HECK DID THIS HAPPEN TO MY BABY?  (I removed the crime scene tape from her room before I photographed it for you.)

All I can figure, is when she fell out of bed, IN THE DARK, she tried to get to the door and smacked her face on the dresser.  Or, she tried to get back in bed and tripped and hit her face on the side of her bed.  I really don't know.  

Charlie suggested maybe we put a night-light in there for her.  I don't know.  I'm wondering if we did that, would she DEFINITELY be getting out of bed all night and coming to get us?  That maybe the dark would be her mental bedrail?  That maybe this incident will make her think, I'm not getting out of bed again and smacking my face against something!  But, I also don't want her to get hurt.  What to do?  What to do?  I've got today to pray about it.  And, your thoughts/suggestions are WELCOME!

Oh, girls (and dudes), this stuff doesn't get easier.  Even the third time around.  

See what a good mom I am?

2:37 PM - UPDATE:

After a jog with mom in her stroller, we attempted nap-time.  She clung to me like I was about to leave her at the boogey-man's house.  I said, "Do you want me to put the rails back on?"  "Yes!"  So I did.  She is asleep and I will be tonight!